Catching Up with My Own Ass

Holy asseroni, this shit’s been bananas, bee-ay-en-ay-en-ay-es.

Fortunately for you, this entry will be short — shorter, in fact, than War & Peace, which is an accomplishment all its own when we see how actively I like to have written diarrhea.  Currently — and over the next few weeks — I will be hard at work on a spur-of-the-moment short novel for Kazka Press’s flash novel call.  Regrettably, my limited brain power and my even more limited ability to focus on anything except throbbing man-bodies and episodes of Battlestar: Galactica has pigeon-holed me into barely even being able to blog while I write.

How does that work?  My brain can only allow me to write one thing at a time.  When I dig into a longer project, I can barely fathom the idea of blogging.  I don’t want to go off the handle about a bunch of dumb shit like I normally do here; I’m locked into novel mode, and any bit of my writing that isn’t expended on that project sometimes feels like an improper use of my time.  Yes, I think I may be crazy.  Thank God you’re all here to witness my slow descent into madness alongside me.

Hey, check out my writing online, or skip this paragraph with a well-deserved tl;dr:  In the meantime, you should pop over and check out my recently published story “Six Dollars” at Clever, an online quarterly magazine.  There are some other great pieces there to see as well.  Also, my seasonal story for Kazka Press — “The Replacement” — is still available for reading.  Leave a comment if you so desire, or Tweet your balls off about it.

Hey, much to your chagrin, I have more writing on the way, which is a damned upsetting thing for you to hear:  Coming within the next few weeks, Anobium will be publishing my short experimental story “Spiderblue Vacation.”  The print volume in which it’s included can be pre-ordered here.  Do it, or I’ll do a flying uppercut into the seat of your pants  Also, a short story about a spaceman who jerks off to Anna Sewell’s Black Beauty, “The Extinctionists,” will be published (with art!) in the upcoming Kazka Press anthology, Bronies:  For the Love of Ponies, edited by L. Lambert Lawson.

Shit’s about to go down, and my friends Ozlem “Oz” Yikici and Keith Thompson are going to tell you what’s up.  Keep your eye out for the first Opinions and Assholes post, where I have guest bloggers come by and rant about things that piss them off, by Ozlem Yikici in the next few days.  A few weeks after, Keith Thompson of The Paraverse will be sliding by to talk a bunch of turds into your ear too.

There’s no need for random shit like this, but:  In the words of one of the world’s greatest bands The Immortals:  “Prepare yourself / Mortal Kombat’s on today / Prepare yourself / Mortal Kombat all the way / Prepare yourself / Mortal Kombat’s here to stay, wooOooOOOOOOoo-ooooooh / Johnny Cage is not afraid to die!”